Archive for August, 2016
How to Get Away with Smoking:
1. Get sick of people criticizing you for smoking cigarettes.
2. Get horribly addicted to meth.
3. Manage to miraculously quit meth.
4. Everyone congratulates you for the rest of your life for only smoking cigarettes.
1. Be a bad influence.
2. Date spoiled rich princesses.
3. Their rich parents offer to pay you to stop dating their precious daughters.
4. Accept money.
How to Look Really Good:
1. Work out every day.
2. Have good genes.
3. It’s not that hard.
Fight Juvenile Delinquency:
1. Catch a minor smoking weed.
2. Steal the weed.
3. Save the minor.
4. Free weed.
1. Get bitten by a werewolf.
2. Become an astronaut.
3. Go to the moon.
4. BOOM – you’re a permanent werewolf.
or Why You Should Just Stay Home and Jerk Off
When making a case for something, there are a lot of ways to compare the options.
Let’s use your computer as an example.
You can compare for price: cheaper is better.
You can compare for graphics: prettier is better.
You can compare for speed: faster is better.
You can compare for energy: more efficient is better.
You can compare for popularity: the more people like it the better.
You can compare for memory: the better memory, the better.
You can compare for danger: safer is better.
Or you can compare for value – performance rated against cost: the lowest cost for the highest performance wins.
It all depends on what you want out of the product – and out of life.
Sex, it could be said, is more or less the same.
or Sex Negative
Heterosexuals bash gays.
Gays bash bisexuals.
Bisexuals bash transsexuals.
Transsexuals bash polys.
Polys bash swingers.
Swingers bash voyeurs.
Voyeurs bash porn.
Porn bashes feminists.
Feminists bash sex workers.
Sex workers bash sadomasochists.
Sadomasochists bash urophiliacs.
Urophiliacs bash coprophiliacs.
Coprophiliacs bash vanillas.
Sex positive means that we’re positive about sex (between consenting adults). Not just our own sex, all kinds of sex in all kinds of forms.
Why can’t we all be less Sex Politics and more Sex Positive?