Archive for October, 2016
1. She never wants to hang out and talk about her feelings; she just wants to come over, have dirty nasty sex, then leave.
2. She always comes over to your place, you never go to hers. You never have to get up, drive somewhere, put pants on – you don’t even have to get out of bed.
3. She never wants to go out to eat, go out to the movies, hold hands and go ice-skating. Romantic dinners, romantic comedies, and romantic evenings are off the menu.
4. She never calls just to say hello or to tell you about her day or about her mom’s health or the funny things her cat does. She only texts you when she wants sex. It’s always just, ‘Hey, wanna hang out and get crazy?’
5. After you have sex with her, you often don’t hear from her for days, sometimes weeks. She completely disappears, and you have to console yourself with video games, weed, and hanging out with your friends – until she shows up and wants sex again!
6. She’s always unavailable on major holidays. She doesn’t let you go with her on Thanksgiving or Christmas to meet her parents. You don’t get to buy her expensive gifts and treat her to fancy restaurants on Valentine’s Day. She never bugs you when you forget your anniversary.
7. She never wants to sleep at your place. She never hogs the whole blanket, never pushes you to a corner of your own bed while she’s sprawled out over the rest, never wakes you up with her snoring… because she’s simply not there. It’s just sex, sex, sex; then she takes off and leaves you the entire bed and all the big fluffy pillows all to yourself.
8. You’re happy all the time.
9. She doesn’t insist you change your status on Facebook to something dreamy and claimed and taken. She doesn’t make you tell all your friends that you are now an owned man, or force you to distance yourself from your other girl friends.
10. If you tell her you’re a little busy at the moment, she understands.
11. She gives you a lot of space to do your own thing, live your own life.