Archive for December, 2016

how not to say no to sex

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amber-rose-consent-sexylittleideas

or Consent vs Nonsense


Dear Amber Rose,

I can go to a restaurant, sit down at a table, fold my napkin on my lap, call a waiter over, & then tell them that I don’t want anything to eat. I might not be welcomed back to the restaurant though.

I can spend years training to be an astronaut, pass my medical, physical, and psychological tests, become an expert in navigating the harsh environment of space, suit up, climb into a rocket, prep all systems for launch, and then let Houston know that I don’t actually want to go to the moon. No one’s going to force me to go to the moon.

I can run for president, throw millions of my own dollars into my campaign, travel incessantly around the country, perform all sorts of ethically dubious tricks to get voters on my side, by some miracle claim a decisive victory where it matters, and then refuse to go to intelligence briefings and tell my VP and Cabinet to do my job while I comb my hair in front of a golden mirror. My backers might feel cheated; but political, social, and sexual norms are very different from laws; and I wouldn’t be breaking any (laws, that is).

I am also well within my rights to go to the farmer’s market and stock up on beautiful, ripe, organic produce; go home and finely chop that produce into a delicious tossed salad; fire up the grill and cook up a piping hot grilled steak to round off my meal; and then throw that entire meal into the garbage and go to bed hungry. I can do that. I am allowed to change my mind.

The thing is, if I make a habit out of building walls and then banging my head against them, I might raise some eyebrows among the mental health professional community.

There are no laws against schizophrenic self-sabotage. So yes, you can say no to anything at any time. You can also say yes to anything at any time. I say yes to being a legendary rock star every day; doesn’t mean I am one.

If you take the ‘sense’ out of ‘consensual,’ all you’re left with is a big, fat con.

It might be helpful if we talked more CONsent and less NONsense.

truth, submission, and sex tapes: december- e[lust] 89

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Photo courtesy of Sex is My New Hobby

Welcome to Elust 89

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #90 Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!  

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the Tears Finally Came
The pure and simple truth
One Down  

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Disabilities & Submission, Part 2: I Say No
UnRepentant Darkness  

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

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why you should make a sex tape

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why sex tape sexylittleideas


All Millennials should make a sex tape while they’re young. Your sex tape is your backup plan, just in case you don’t get rich and famous with your Plan A.

By all means, keep studying nutrition or makeup or improv comedy, or whatever sparkly pseudo-career you believe will be your primary path to the prosperity and adulation you deserve.

But have that sex tape in your back pocket just in case it doesn’t work out. Here are a few tips for making your sex tape:

  • Both partners must agree to share full creative control. That way, if one of you doesn’t like how it came out, you have the peace of mind to know that you can just throw that scene away and try again.

  • It’s important to sincerely commit to making the film sexy, passionate, and beautiful. You owe it to your future fans.

  • Many amateur male porn stars find that the increased expectations of being in front of a camera may give them performance anxiety. Bring Viagra just in case.

  • There is a reverse pay gap in porn industry earnings. A 60-40 percentage split in her favor is a reasonable place to start your profit negotiations (assuming both parties invest equally – presumably zero at the beginning – in production and marketing).

  • Keep in mind that her face and body will be the film’s center of attention. As the star of the film, she can expect a lot more of both the inconveniences and the opportunities from the film than he.

  • If you aren’t comfortable with appearing on camera, wear a mask or an eyeshade. Mardi Gras masks can be both sexy and concealing without distracting from the action.

  • You can either just set the camera somewhere and forget about it, or film from his and/or her point of view. POV scenes are all the rage.

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