1. What got you into blogging about sex and what are your favorite topics? I love sex. And I love writing. Me, writing, and about sex was a logical threesome.
My favorite topic is irony. I like writing about things from the ‘duh‘ perspective. I love turning topics on their heads with titles like ‘Real Men Suck in Bed,’ ‘How to Fake an Orgasm,’ and ‘Why a Man Should Be an Asshole.’ There is plenty of intenseness and seriousness in the deep end of the sex pool, and I think if we all lightened up a little, we would have more fun.
A small footnote about semantics that I always like to include: I don’t consider myself a blogger. A blog is a web log. A log, in this context, is ‘a regular or systematic record of incidents or observations.’ I record very few observations and even less incidents. The description I prefer is column, which is ‘a section of a newspaper or magazine (or of the Internet) regularly devoted to a particular subject or written by a particular person.’
2. Have you ever actively noted that there are significantly more female-identified sex bloggers? Why yes, Jon, I have. And with all of the throngs of them out there, here we are, just us men, gossiping about them.
3. Why do you think this is? Keep in mind that what I think doesn’t necessarily have any bearing on reality.
Offhand, I came up with two reasons. I think that, just like in prostitution ‘men are where the money is,’ in sex blogging, men are where the interest is. Men wanna hear about, actively seek out, and even pay for: women having sex. Women being filmed having sex, women talking about having sex, women writing about having sex. I don’t know if this is due to culture, paternalism, the extra X chromosome, or just a big misunderstanding, but women seem to have much less of a hunger (and a pocketbook) for: men having sex. So I think the imbalance of demand could be one factor. I’m much more likely to read about a hot chick’s sexual misadventures and opinions than yours.
For the other brilliant and insightful reason, stay tuned to SexyLittleIdeas.com, and maybe I’ll write about it someday! 😉
I love emoticons.
4. Are you at all intimidated to write from a male perspective? I firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with sex. To specify that, I would add words like inherently, consensual, adult, protected, and multiple informed partners. In that context, I don’t think there is anything to be intimidated or ashamed about, whether as a man or a woman (the latter of which, however, I have never been).
If women who write about sex get more leeway on the Internet Jerk-o-meter than men (meaning that they can write about experiences and topics that sometimes make us men look like jerks), then I think it’s only fair because we men get more leeway for our sexual actions in real life.
And as far as from a consumer perspective, I try to write things that I would like to read if I were to stumble across my own column. I figure if I am entertained and informed by my own pieces, then I can be proud of them no matter how gritty they are. If we sex writers are all confident about what we do and how we do it, maybe the prudes will have to take a spin on the intimidation merry-go-round. It’s just about their turn anyway.
4. What other sex bloggers do you enjoy reading? Well, you. And besides that, if I had to pick one woman, one man, and one LGBTQIAETC favorite, I would choose:
Nicole Daedone – Even if she doesn’t allow non-user comments, she is vulnerable AND exciting, which is a rare combination. My Dissolute Life – Even if he is a married and a man, he draws me. And I Absolutely Love. Short, Fragmented. Sentences. Omniwhore – He somehow gets me to relate to a community that I am usually, in real life, quite distant from.
5. Is there anything in particular you might do to encourage other men to blog about sex? More competition? No! Go away!
In all sincerity though, this isn’t a battle of the sex writers. I enjoy male and female sex writers equally. I do, however, think that getting to know yourself sexually will improve your sexual experiences. And writing about sex is one of the best ways to open yourself up to that side of you. So if sex blogging=better sex, then that’s really all that needs to be said.