joe solves the music biz


People who mourn ‘the death of the music business’ must also think that if all the prostitutes disappeared, no one would ever have good sex again.

Those people mistake the music industry for the music itself.

Music is math. Music is art. Music is invisible waves of air. Music doesn’t naturally fit into any business model. If you want to make money off yet another simple human pleasure, you have to make it fit.

If you wanna pimp it out, it’s up to you to lure the starry-eyed amateurs, tell them they’re special, sweet talk them into running away with you (because only you can offer them protection), coerce them into hitting the roads to make you money, then break their legs if they disobey you. And it’s up to you to tell the lonely johns that your shit is the only the good shit in town so they will be duped into buying from you.

The music business complaining about its lost revenue is like Facebook complaining when you hang out with your real life friends. Honey, you didn’t invent friendship, you didn’t make it better, & there is a valid argument that suggests you might have made it worse.

Adding financial incentive to art has the same effect as adding sugar to food. It ends up making the product more addictive, because more consumption equals more money. But like food weaponized with sugar, or friendship weaponized with likes, music weaponized with capitalism doesn’t intrinsically make better music.

Big Tobacco, Big Oil, Big Pharma, & Big Social Media are made by big crooks who don’t care about health or humanity or friendship or you or even the quality of their own product. The only thing the Bigs care about is how much of their stuff they can trick you into repeatedly buying so they can show quarterly profits to their partners in Big Business.

Big Music is no exception.

Radio didn’t kill the music business. Neither did video or cassette or the internet or piracy or streaming.

We’re all just slowly waking up & realizing how absurd the music business was to begin with.

gingerbread house of cards


Celebrating Christmas is like trying to enjoy House of Cards after the #MeToo movement.

Yes, it’s a fun TV show, but because Kevin Spacey raped a bunch of kids when he was younger, that kind of ruins all the fun.

House of Cards, like Christmas, began as something innocuous & entertaining. Then it became something ugly, so it was canceled by humanity until it could root out all its ugliness from within. Until it does that, however, there are plenty of OTHER shows to watch so we don’t have to think about that particular one.

Celebrating Christmas as a non-religious holiday doesn’t work either. When you say you celebrate Christmas for the children or the family or for some other meaning you arbitrarily assigned to it, all you’re doing is ignoring-ergo-fueling the perversion. It’s like saying, “In my house, we watch House of Cards not a showcase for a child rapist but as a political celebration.”

In other words, “I make it pure because I am naive.”

No, you don’t.

I wish it worked that way, but it doesn’t.

We can do better than this.

joe solves casual sex.


“They’re not real people until the second date.”
–Woman discussing her Tinder dates. (Sex On, HBO)

The people you have casual sex with are real people.

When I’m having casual sex with someone, it’s important to me that we treat each other with care and respect and basic human kindness.

Just because we’re casually having sex doesn’t mean we should stop treating each other like real people with real lives. So whether your human litterbug approach is due to simple disregard for other people who aren’t you or whether it’s some kind of mental game, it’s toxic, and I can’t have it in my life.

Some people have terrible time management and/or decision-making skills. Sometimes I myself can’t decide whether to put an ‘and’ or an ‘or’ as a qualifier, or both. But these are skills that can be learned. You’re not schedulistically-challenged. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Some people have too much going on. I’m a huge fan of mistakes and imperfect people. In fact, people with pet peeves are my pet peeve. But there’s a difference between a mistake and a pattern, and if a mistake turns into a pattern, it ceases to be a mistake. You’re not chronically overbooked. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Some people think casual sex is a form of disrespecting someone. It goes without saying (which are my favorite kinds of sayings) that this is nothing more than a form of thinly-disguised self-hatred. (Unless you genuinely hate the opposite gender, on which I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you don’t.)

If you catch yourself thinking, I’ve lost my respect for her/him now that I’ve fucked them, the real person here that has lost your respect is yourself. You’re not a victim of your culture and upbringing. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Don’t fuck cardboard cutouts. Fuck real people.


sexylittlebloggers of 2016


sex blog superheroes 2016 kinkly sexylittleideas (sex blog aggregator, sex talk titan, and king of kink) released their list of staff/reader picks for the Top Sex Bloggers of 2016. SexyLittleIdeas made some appearances, and they gave me this cool badge:

Kinkly Top 100 Blogger Badge

We ranked:

#3 in Top New Sex Blogs of 2016
top newsex blogs 2016 kinkly sexylittleideas

#4 in Top Sex Blog for/by Men of 2016
top men sex blogs 2016 kinkly sexylittleideas

and #65 overall (out of 100)

top sex blogs kinkly 2016 sexylittleideas

SexyLittleIdeas had previously had a falling out with former Kinkly contributor Bobbie Morgan from over our article on How to Fake an Orgasm. As an apparent fan of real orgasms, it seemed Morgan appreciated neither the tongue of the article nor the cheek it was in. We figured our standing with Kinkly had come to an unhappy ending, and had forgotten completely about their annual sex blog rankings. Fortunately, however, I was wrong.

Congratulations to Wetlandia and Tickle Trunk, sex toy reviewers who kicked my ass in the new sex blogger category.

Shoutout to Dr. Justin Lehmiller from Sex and Psychology who totally deserved 1st place in the manly sex blogger category. And further congrats to The Big Gay Review and Just Indecorous, two more sex toy reviewers, for also kicking my ass as men and sex bloggers.

I would also like to shout out to one of my favorite sex blogs,, who totally deserved 64th place.

And, again, if you would like to brush up on the finer points of How to Fake an Orgasm, please click the link.

she’s in control – sexylittleideas


when you're bad 2 joe johnstun sinful sunday sexylittleideas

Joe Johnstun – When You’re Bad

She’s in control.
(Listen to the song on Youtube below!)

Photographer: Alessandro Volpi
Model: Joe Johnstun
Written, Produced, Performed by: Joe Johnstun

Buy on iTunes
Stream on Spotify
Free on Soundcloud

Sinful Sunday

joe johnstun – when you’re bad


Joe Johnstun – When You’re Bad (official audio)

In a shot cup
With the sound up
And the Do Not Disturb us on the door
You’re an artist
In the darkness
I am breathless
And the bedsheets beg me, beg for more

You’re beautiful when you’re bad
You push me to the edge
You have it all when you’re bad
Your lipstick left on a cigarette
You dance on the table, dressed like a lady,
Drinking and driving me crazy

Photographer: Ricardo Ramos
Model: Joe Johnstun
Written, Produced, Performed by: Joe Johnstun (my first official single ever, yay!)

Buy on iTunes
Stream on Spotify
Free on Soundcloud

Sinful Sunday

sex bashers


sex bashers sexylittleideas

or Sex Negative

Heterosexuals bash gays.

Gays bash bisexuals.

Bisexuals bash transsexuals.

Transsexuals bash polys.

Polys bash swingers.

Swingers bash voyeurs.

Voyeurs bash porn.

Porn bashes feminists.

Feminists bash sex workers.

Sex workers bash sadomasochists.

Sadomasochists bash urophiliacs.

Urophiliacs bash coprophiliacs.

Coprophiliacs bash vanillas.

Ad infinitum.

sex positive sex politics sexylittleideas

Sex positive means that we’re positive about sex (between consenting adults). Not just our own sex, all kinds of sex in all kinds of forms.

Why can’t we all be less Sex Politics and more Sex Positive?

But how about those asexuals, huh? What assholes!

sex negative sexylittleideas

ideaholic – sexylittleideas


ideaholic sexylittleideas


Photo by: Peggy Kellough
Model: I

SexyLittleIdeas: DO try this at home.
(Thanks, mom.)
Below is a Shot From Below for the Weekly Prompt. 🙂

42 kinds of casual sex


42 kinds casual sex sexylittleideas

or A Cynical Look at Some of the Reasons People Fuck Each Other

Guy Who Needs to Feel Special

Girl Who Needs to Quiet Her Sex Drive so She Can Focus on Work

Guy Who Gets Super Drunk and Wants to Fuck Something, Anything

Girl with Boyfriend Who Needs an Occasional Breath of Fresh Air

Guy Proving to Himself That He’s a Badass

Girl Going Through a Rebellious Phase

Guy Who’s Now an Independent Adult and Can Do What He Likes

Girl Experimenting with Her Body

Guy Proving to Himself That He’s Still Young and Carefree

Rebound Girl

Guy on the Brink of Falling in Love with Everything

Girl with Inferiority Complex Fucking to Feel Better About Herself

Guy on Vacation Going Wild Fucking Everything in His Path

Totally Not That Kind of Girl Who Has No Idea What Got into Her

Guy Who Needs to Feel Close to Someone

Girl Who Smokes and Drinks and Drugs and Doesn’t Give a Shit About Anything

New in the City, Making Friends

Heard About You from Her Friend

Guy Who Only Likes a Specific Kind of Sex or Body Type

Lesbian Couple Spicing up Their Relationship

Straight Couple Spicing up Their Relationship

Girl Who Wants to Get Back at Her Friend/Parent/Sibling/Loved One

Guy Who Wants to Be Like that Guy He Saw on TV

Girl Who Feels Such a Strong Connection with You

Guy Who Has so Much in Common with You

Girl Who’s Bored

Guy Who’s Impressed

Girl Who Feels She Owes You Sex

Guy Who Feels You Owe Him Sex

Girl Who Fucks Because She’s There and You’re There

Guy Who Fucks Because……..Party Woohooo!

Girl Who Wants a Story to Tell Her Friends

Guy Who Wants to Feel Superior to His Friends

Girl Who Wants to Celebrate

Guy Who Is Crazy (I Mean Literally Having a Psychotic Episode)

Girl Who Wants to Be Famous

Guy Who Wants to Try Something His Girlfriend/Wife Would Never Go For

Girl Who Doesn’t Want to Waste All the Time/Money She Spent on You Before You Turned out to Be a Jerk/Catfish

Guy Who Wants to Forget About His Ex

Girl Who Can’t Have Who She Really Wants so Fine She’ll Just Settle for You

Guy Who Just Wants to Feel Good

Girl Who Just Wants to Feel Good

how to kill fewer people


how to kill fewer people sexylittleideas

or A Short Study on Weapons Legislation vs Crazy People

I think the gun control issue is a question of percentages. We have to weigh acceptable Weapons Legislation against the percentage of Crazy People with a Chance of Going on Killing Sprees. If the latter was exceptionally high, say around 50% of the population, we might only legalize the possession of exceptionally mild weapons such as swords or slingshots. If we had 0% Crazy People, we might be able to legalize nuclear bombs and light sabers.

To decide where you are as a rational person on the issue of gun control, you have to decide how many people you are comfortable with putting at risk of dying, say each year, in Crazy Person Killing Sprees.

In a nation of 320 million people, you have to assume that there will be some Crazy People and that some of them will go on Killing Sprees for whatever Crazy Reason. If all they have is slingshots or their bare hands, they will be able to kill very few people, maybe one or two per incident. If they have nuclear bombs, they will be able to kill maybe 100,000 per incident.

Weapons Legislation usually looks at weapons and victim numbers somewhere inbetween those two extremes.

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