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Sports can be dirty. But live commentary by sportscasters can be even dirtier – so much so that sometimes I wonder if these professional ball-followers are intentionally trying to say dirty things on live TV as some kind of an inside joke between them.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Decide for yourself.

As we near the end of a possibly historic season in the NBA, here are some of the filthiest things I have heard sports commentators get away with saying on the air this year.


“Howard tries to put the tip in but he’s swallowed up by his man.”

“Watch Harden take two men in the backcourt.”

“Just a little bit of dribble then penetration by Klay Thompson.”

“The former Magic member driving deep, straight to the hole.”

“Then he gets eaten alive by Anthony Davis from behind.”

“Varejao inside but unable to finish.”

“Irving on the corner gives a hand off for profit.”


“Westbrook, pulling it back, then he gives it to Ibaka who is wide open.”

“Harden tries to get it up quickly.”

“Cantor and Westbrook, tag teaming Howard who likes taking it to the rim.”

“He’s a young player and they’re riding him with his 18 points.”

“John Wall with the reach behind as Varejao was exploding to the hole.”


“Speights was stripped, wanted the body bump but didn’t get it.”

“That’s what you call a wet jumpshot.”

“They’re allowing a little bump and grind, letting them play at both ends.”

“Damian’s got a deep stroke with a long range.”

“That’s a good body of work by the Clippers but they did let the Pacers in through the backdoor.”

“You have to keep a body on him because he has a very soft touch downtown.”

“Crabbe gave that Spalding a spanking!”

…and my personal favorite:

“See, that’s how you play your man perfectly – use a few pumps to get him up, then you go straight into his body.”


Warm credit and sloppy thanks to sportscasters: Jim Barnett, Bob Fitzgerald, Derek Harper, Mark Followill, Mark Jackson, Jeff Van Gundy, Mike Green, Marv Albert, and Chris Webber.