or The Sweat of Strangers


Girl in club: Do you like to go out and party?

Me: That’s a difficult question. It really depends on what you mean by party and how that party is going to end up playing out. It also depends on my mood at the time. I can’t say that I like to go out and party in general because sometimes I like nothing more than to stay home and curl up in bed with hot chocolate and a good page-turning TV show. I also can’t say that I don’t like to go out and party because sometimes I’m a consuming explosion of partying fire that destroys everything in its path. Also, your definition of party might be different than mine. You could mean party in the general sense of having fun at night, or you could mean losing yourself in a narcotic. You could be referring to hitting clubs and paying exorbitant prices for drinks and the sweat of strangers, or you could mean a medium-sized gathering of friends at a neighbor’s place where everyone brings their own beer and the DJ is an iPhone. You could also mean…


Girl in club: Well, do you like the music?

Me: Not an easy question. I assume you mean the music that is currently playing in this club, although even that would be a difficult question. This song has only just started and, as it has yet to mature into anything more than a blurry conglomerate of consecutive thumps, I have yet to determine whether or not I like it. Even if I end up loving this song, I might hate the next one the DJ puts on, or love part of it such as the tempo and abhor the vocalizations or lack of. All of this may legitimately change my answer to this question. I can’t say I love the music in this club because I haven’t heard all of it yet, and most likely it will end up being an approximately 50-50 split of ‘like’ and ‘try-desperately-to-avoid-vomiting.’ But I can’t say I don’t like the music in this club because they will probably play some songs that I absolutely can’t breathe without. I also can’t say I like music in general because there is music from huge swaths of the world as well as music from giant slices of times gone by that I would rather shoot myself in the face than listen to. I can’t say I don’t like music either because sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me…


Girl in club: Where are you from?

Me: Don’t even get me started on this one. I have ancestors from Ireland and Slovakia and grandparents that don’t even speak English, although I was born in the Philippines, which I don’t remember at all because we left when I was two years old. My mom was born in Texas, but I spent practically my entire childhood traveling around Asia and practically my entire adult life traveling around Mexico. Also, I have a US passport and…


Girl in club: What do you do?

Me: That’s a tough question…

***

My mind thinks in circles, not straight lines; possibilities, not absolutes; ants, not anthills.

And small talk is way too big.