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or Why You Should Just Stay Home and Jerk Off


When making a case for something, there are a lot of ways to compare the options.

Let’s use your computer as an example.

You can compare for price: cheaper is better.

You can compare for graphics: prettier is better.

You can compare for speed: faster is better.

You can compare for energy: more efficient is better.

You can compare for popularity: the more people like it the better.

You can compare for memory: the better memory, the better.

You can compare for danger: safer is better.

Or you can compare for value – performance rated against cost: the lowest cost for the highest performance wins.

It all depends on what you want out of the product – and out of life.

Sex, it could be said, is more or less the same.

Some people want to sleep with the most people. Some want to sleep with the prettiest people. Some want to sleep with the most popular people. Some want to sleep with the safest people.

Some people like building memories. Some only like having sex if it’s free. Some don’t care about the cost at all; the speed and efficiency is more important to them.

But thinking rationally about our sex lives for a second (which one should never do) as far as the performance/cost value is concerned, I believe that going solo may give you the most bang for your buck.

Think about it. Masturbation can be as fast and efficient (or as slow and nurturing) as you need it to be. Masturbation can occur as often as you need it to. You can’t catch anything from touching yourself. You can’t get pregnant from touching yourself. Your imagination or media can add pretty or popular or whatever you need in whatever amount you need and even instantly change things up whenever you need to for variety. Masturbation doesn’t judge you for what you like.

Masturbation doesn’t cost a thing.

Masturbation doesn’t keep going after you say no.

The one area that masturbation may be lacking in is memorability. –Solo performances don’t usually stick in your memory.

Is that enough to negate its obvious value advantages in all of the other areas? You have to decide for yourself, but I think a lot of you already agree.

Maybe that’s why millennials are having less and less sex than previous generations (as shown in this 30-year, 30,000-people study released in 2012).

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