or The Woman’s ED
If occasional erectile dysfunction may affect 1 in 4 (young) men and even more older men, then occasional penetrational dysfunction almost definitely affects 99% of women.
Penetrational dysfunction is when the vagina is not sufficiently lubricated to accommodate intercourse. Name sound unfamiliar? That’s because not being aroused enough is a very real yet usually very solvable sexual dysfunction in women, similar to erectile dysfunction in men, that until now has never been given a proper name.
Both erectile and penetrational dysfunctions are mental. There is usually no physical obstruction to the man or the woman being aroused, it’s just that something in their mind is blocking the way.
It is generally seen as the man’s responsibility to overcome penetrational dysfunction or, in other words, to get the woman ready. Why do men insist on moving too fast? Why don’t men foreplay right or enough? Men are encouraged by every sex expert you’ve ever heard to broaden their skill set to prepare woman for intercourse. If a woman is not aroused enough during the sexual encounter, the man is generally and historically blamed.
Yet women are not blamed for erectile dysfunction. They are not encouraged to broaden their skill set to treat it. If a man is not aroused enough during the sexual encounter, no one ever looks at the woman. It is never seen as the woman’s responsibility to overcome erectile dysfunction or, in other words, to get the man ready.
Well, with one exception: prostitutes. Sex workers are very accustomed to treating men with erectile dysfunction. Some say it’s their bread and butter. When a man can’t get it up in his home life, he generally and historically seeks out a sex worker. This professional gives him the necessary time, attention, and sexuality, and many times the problem simply melts away.
So why is it the man’s responsibility to avoid PD but not the woman’s responsibility to avoid ED? Why are only men not women ever encouraged to broaden their skill set to treat a mental blockage to sexual arousal in the opposite gender?
I think these problems are looked at the wrong way. ED and PD are no one gender’s fault, but they are one gender’s responsibility: the responsibility of the gender they afflict.
Maybe you can’t get it up or get it in because you’re stressed. Maybe your arousal phase takes longer because you have daddy issues or problems getting your mind off other things and into sex mode. Maybe you’re very sensitive to the little things around you, or maybe you’re not sensitive enough.
Whatever the case, stop blaming the other gender. The only person who has full control over your sexuality is you, and, man or woman, it’s your responsibility to do or demand whatever it takes to make it work for you.
No one is to blame for these sad, sad problems. True, men and women who suffer from ED or PD need special attention, but the responsibility is on him and her alone to seek out that special attention and get it and insist on it, whether it be extra foreplay, sex therapy, or a psychiatrist.
Or maybe just a lot of extra reassurance.
Or maybe cuddling.
Or maybe a sex worker, or maybe role playing or oral activities or more porn or less porn. Or maybe more kissing or tenderness or scratching or biting or more control or less control.
Very few men or women are professional sex gods, and none are mind readers. If you suffer from ED or PD, relax. There is a solution for you, and it lies inside you.
PS: Just like ED has a wide range of spectrums from occasional partial erection losses to full-fledged chronic disorders, PD also has a very broad definition including everything from temporary lapses to comprehensive female sexual arousal disorders.