the monogamy machine
Humans aren’t good at flying.
But we really wanted to fly.
So we invented a machine that would allow us to fly.
Now we can fly anywhere we want to.
Humans aren’t good at remembering stuff.
But we really wanted to remember stuff.
So we invented writing.
Now we can remember everything.
Humans aren’t good at seeing in the dark.
But we really wanted to see in the dark.
So we invented little glowing machines that would allow us to see in the dark.
Now we can see in the dark.
And speaking of things humans aren’t good at…
Humans aren’t good at being monogamous.
But we really want to be monogamous (for some reason).
So instead of jumping off a cliff with big cardboard wings strapped to our arms,
As is our collective instinct when it comes to achieving the improbable,
And which – as billions of unhappily monogamous couples have discovered before us – only causes us to crash land at the rock bottom,
If we’re going to insist on this monogamy nonsense,
We need to make a machine that finally allows us to be truly and happily monogamous.
A monogamy machine.
And with our shiny new monogamy technology, ride marrily off into the codependent sunset.