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Finally, a Period for Men
The refractory period is that feeling, after you orgasm, that you don’t want to have sex anymore.

Doesn’t sound familiar? -You may be a woman.

Teenage boys have an average refractory period of 15 minutes. 70-year old men have an average refractory period of 24 hours. Men, in general, across all age spans, have an average refractory period of about half an hour.

Women don’t have refractory periods.

(I should classify that sentence with ‘most’ or ‘on average,’ but I feel that would cause it to lose its punch. And a statement like that should have a punch.)

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Genital Law
Do you realize what that means? Not only does she have to decide when to have sex, she also has to decide when to stop having sex.

Men can’t decide whether or not to have sex. The decision is already made for him by his penis. The question is never ‘to have or not to have,’ it’s always just ‘to have’ and sometimes ‘how to have.’

(Once again I feel like classifying these sentences with a ‘mostly’ or ‘on average’ writerly safety net. There is a scientist in me that wants to be accurate, but the dramatist in me is winning. Scientists have no fun.)

Men also can’t decide whether or not to stop having sex. Barring a complete miracle or a lightning strike (extraordinary circumstances), once he starts having sex, he is physically oriented to continue until the decision is once again made for him by his penis.

When it comes to sex, women have to do a lot of thinking, with their minds. Vaginas, apparently, can’t think for themselves the way penises can. What kind of a silly sex organ can’t think for itself? Every good genital should have a tiny control center that is able to take over in times of crisis and impose Genital Law.

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Absent a tiny, lower brain, her actual ‘brain’ has to step in a lot, like a surrogate penis, and do the ‘thinking’ for her vagina. “Should I have sex?” “Who should I have sex with?” “What kind of sex should I have?” And, once she’s having sex, “When should I stop?”

It sounds exhausting.

If the credits don’t come up, how do you know the movie is finished?


Men Are Like Movies, Women Are Like TV Shows
Men are like movies. They begin on cue, they go through a basic set of plot points and character growth (pun promotional parentheses), then they end and everyone files out of the theater.

Women are like TV shows on Netflix. After a long selection process the show finally begins, there’s a long title sequence to get things rolling, this is followed by a lot of drama and action, and then they always end on a cliffhanger and if you don’t turn your computer off and go the fuck to sleep, another episode will begin.

I could binge-watch her all night.

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