or Variety Vs Familiarity
Some nights I need variety.
Some nights I need to say, “Look over there, let’s fuck on that thing!” Some nights I need to find out how new things feel, try out new kitchen counters and living room couches. Some nights I need to swing from new chandeliers.
Some nights I need to explore. I need danger and adventure. Some nights I need public places. Some nights I need days.
And some nights I just need the tender comfort of familiar intimacy.
And fun as it is to sometimes just go all out crazy with the Kama Sutra and the road head and the beach sex and the whipped cream and the handcuffs, some nights you just need your own sex.
Some nights you just need to look into each other’s eyes and make each other cum deliberately. Some nights I need to say, “This is the way we have our sex. This is our thing,” and just do that. Just as amazing as trying all those new things is also having a pattern with someone that you know works for you. A sexual tradition that you can go back to that you know will result in top notch sex for both of you.
We drink, we disrobe, we start here, we move there. She likes when I do that for this long and I like when she ends with this.
Some nights I need surprises and parties, and some nights I just need you with no surprises.
Some nights I need to go to the movies and experience an adrenaline-sucking superhero extravaganza in 4D. And some nights I just need to curl up on the couch with a hot chocolate and watch a procedural on TV.
Booming movie sex has its time and place where it starts in the unknown and gets big and ends bigger. But sometimes sex is like a TV show where you pretty much know what you’re getting into. The characters are familiar, you know it’s going to hit certain plot points, and the ending leaves you wanting to come back for more.
There’s no shame in sometimes trying new things.
And there’s no shame in sometimes just having your own sex.