or The Physiological Benefits of Hitting Other People
I think it’s funny that the more illegal and socially unacceptable spankings become as a child’s punishment, the more mainstream and typical they become as an erotic accessory.
Spankings used to be something every parent did to every child and maybe three men did to their wives during sexual congress before being burned at the stake as heretics.
Then they became something that only strict parents did to their children and perverts did to their wives.
Soon after, they became something that only terrible parents did to their traumatized children, and that some very liberal men did to some very permissive women.
Now, spankings are something for which in many countries you can get thrown in jail for doing to your children, and something that practically everyone does to everyone else when they’re having sex and feeling a little extra kinky that night.
In the future, perhaps, child spanking will only be remembered in the history books akin to child sacrifice, and erotic spanking will be a systematic part of The Human Dating Ritual (aw look there’s a picture of our first spanking, and there’s one at our wedding when the Unitarian Universalist Priest said, “You may now spank the bride”).
Perhaps human beings have an inherent physiological need to spank other human beings, and if they can’t take it out on their helpless children, by the gods, they’ll take it out on their consenting life partners.
Which is at least progress.
The moral arc of the universe and all that.
Interracial porn is beautiful.
Myriad genders and races coming together to form a prismatic collage of pleasure gives one hope that maybe just maybe the problems of the world can be beaten.
Because it’s hard to hate someone when you are balls deep in them.
But it’s hard.
Consensual sex has a healing and uniting and inspiring power unrivaled by almost any other act and eclipsed by none.
Interracial porn is racist.
You say it’s a bunch of black guys fucking white guys or Asians fucking Latinos, but I don’t see race or color.
I only see porn in monochrome.
So as far as I know, it’s just a bunch of grey people cumming on other grey people.
or Evolving Past Our Attraction to Procreation-Related Attributes
or Large Wives, Skinny Lovers
A girl saying she likes monogamous men is the evolutionary equivalent of a guy saying he likes tits and ass.
There women go again, evolutionarily objectifying us men.
I like tits and ass.
But let’s look at attraction and pleasure logically. Let’s try to look past the evolutionary lenses handed down to us by our cavemen ancestors.
We all know why we like tits and ass, and respectively, monogamy and muscles. Tits meant better able to give milk to our young. Ass meant wider hips for more unencumbered childbirth. Curves meant more fat storage for better-nourished babies. Monogamy meant a certainty that our offspring came from us. And muscles meant a greater degree of protection and security for our families.
But now that we, as a species, have won the battle for planetary domination, maybe it’s time to step back and look at our attraction to procreation-related attributes and see if those attributes are really contributing to our physical pleasure or not.
Now that there’s a supermarket on every corner, do our babies really benefit from curvy mothers? Do we? What does curvy mean today?
While there are certainly many social, economic, personality, and genetic factors that could contribute either way to this physical marker, none of them are definitive. Curvy can mean poor or rich, idle or hard worker, selfish or unselfish.
One thing that does hold true across all boards is that in most cases, heavier = slower. If you like lightspeed, pounding sex with a girl who you can toss around and drill, curvy might not be for you. If you like the intense, grinding, sensual undulation of worship sex, curve away.
Conclusion: Curvy is a style choice and has no conclusive bearing either way on pleasure.
Now that hospitals can address the majority of birthing problems, do our childbirths really benefit from wider hips? What about us? Does a bigger ass contribute toward greater (physical, not aesthetic) pleasure?
Hip width has little bearing on vaginal musculature, and the concept of wide hips = unencumbered childbirth doesn’t necessarily translate to narrow hips = tighter feel during the sex act. On the other hand, smaller skeletal structure = smaller everything, and the pressure from a tiny pelvic bone structure can lead to the impression of tightness in the groin.
Conclusion: Ass is an aesthetic relic that does nothing to contribute toward (physical) pleasure. Wider hips / pelvic bone structure may possibly take away from the feeling of tightness during the sex act.
Now that baby food is available across a wide range of non-breast platforms, the question becomes if tits really contribute toward greater physical sexual pleasure or if it’s all in our minds.
Although tits are longitudinally removed from sexual ground zero and can at first glance seem to have little to do with physical pleasure during the sex act, oiled up and pressed together they can actually provide a second ground zero that can directly stimulate physical pleasure.
Conclusion: Tits provide a direct contribution to physical pleasure.
Now that we have home security systems, police forces, distance weaponry, and laws, do muscles and physical strength continue to make an impact on physical pleasure during the sex act? Or are they an aesthetic relic that should be left in the cave?
Physical strength directly contributes toward a man’s ability to go longer, harder, and faster during sex without hindering his ability to go slow and soft when needed. Muscles allow for more athletic sex, diversifying a man’s sexual arsenal and allowing him to cater to a larger berth of sexual preferences. A muscular body type makes a man better able to tailor the sexual experience to you, whatever you might like.
Conclusion: Muscles have a direct bearing on physical pleasure.
Now that we have birth control and DNA testing to sort out offspring origin issues, does monogamy provide a positive or negative contribution to physical pleasure during sex?
Less sexual partners means less sexual experience, which is a direct negative factor in sexual pleasure. Monogamous males are also more prone to patriarchal/misogynist tendencies, which can lead to abuse.
Conclusion: Monogamy contributes to diminished sexual pleasure and can contribute to abuse.
Everyone’s waiting for that first kiss. That pregnant moment tingling with anticipation when suddenly neither of you can hold in your desire one second longer and you explode toward each other in passion. Or else that slow, deliberate moving together, compelled forward as you stare hypnotically into each other’s eyes. Or else that mid-sentence impulsive interruption that neither of you were expecting but just magically happened.
Or some other similar kiss trope that we probably saw in a movie. We’ve all seen too many movies.
The problem with the first kiss is that it is a moment that has been given far more weight than it deserves.
Should a first kiss be the thing that suddenly changes the frame between two people from social to sexual? (Should a frame-change from social to sexual even be sudden at all?) Can it foretell the amount of sexual chemistry that will be present between those two people? Should that first kiss be the memorable turning point in your relationship when you knew you were meant for each other, or even just that you wanted each other badly? Should it be what the night is building up to? Should it be that nervous moment where you finally found it if it’s ‘gonna happen’ or not?
The problem with kissing as an inaugural sexual act is that it requires an amount of assumptions about each other that is at best awkward and at worst unsafe. The 1930s first-kiss moment was originally born as a man ‘taking’ a woman and claiming her for his own. It then slowly evolved into an 1980s moment-of-truth that ended poorly (possibly comedically) for losers and triumphantly for heroes. But sexuality has evolved a lot since then.
Now we’ve invented mutual consent.
Desire can be communicated (as well as repelled) involving words, but also via small – almost psychic – posture signals, looks, and physical gestures. Sex nowadays is less and less about ‘taking the plunge’ and more and more about slowly dipping your toes, then knees, then thighs into the water.
Although rash people throughout history have been known to dive straight into the main course, eating – both as an art (which is what I think sex should be) and as a science (which is what human sexuality is) – is better savored as a thing of courses. A sequence of evolving delights where dessert should come last, a light entree first, and kissing should probably fall somewhere between the appetizer and the main course, among the hodge podge of soups and salads (which, incidentally, don’t usually come in any particular order to any but the most finicky eaters).
Nowadays the sexual tipping point may start with a variety of different nudges.
Visually, the eyes are usually a good place to start. Physically, collarbones, fingertips, and even knees are sensitive to sedition. Motion, proximity, expression, and, in some cases, a non-disclosure agreement may all serve as today’s ‘first kiss.’
The first kiss itself can then act as a bridge instead of a front door.
Great achievements are usually built step by step, not leap by leap or plunge by plunge.
Save the kiss for a little bit later.
Maybe someday female ejaculation will be a science, or maybe it will always remain somewhat mystical.
Maybe it’s an art.
Flood of Information
Maybe someday, enough educated explorers will perform sufficient sexological studies on a great enough volume of valiant volunteers so as to enable humanity to thoroughly understand this fascinating phenomenon.
But for now, the scientific facts about squirting are still (surprisingly, for this supposedly over-exposed age of information) quite vague. 10 to 40 percent of women ejaculate. Fluid volume ranges from two to 150 milliliters. Squirting is an involuntary emission of sex-specific bladder-originating fluids and / or a prostate-specific androgen secretion from the Skene glands.
In other words, at this point in time, the science behind squirting reads somewhat like this: ???!!
Gushing About Her Experiences
Much of the so-called ‘evidence’ about squirting is still anecdotal and, as such, possibly only indicative of the experiences of one or a few women. Here are a few interesting-yet-still-anecdotal details from women that I have interviewed about their particular adventures on Planet Squirt. These may / may not only represent the viewpoint of one / a minority / most of the fortunate adventurers.
Anecdotal Info to Soak Up
- For some women, squirting is synonymous with climax. When she cums, she ejaculates.
- For some women, squirting is a separate circumstance that may or may not occur in conjunction with orgasm. She squirts, then later she cums.
- For some women, squirting is an integral part of any sex. When she has sex, she invariably makes a hot mess.
- For some women, squirting is a special occasion that only occurs in very intense sexual situations or with a very specific set of sexual criteria. She only squirts occasionally.
- For some women, squirting involves a high volume of ammonia.
- For some women, squirting involves low levels of ammonia or no ammonia at all.
- For some women, squirting can result from any form of sexual stimulation including oral sex, external clitoral stimulation, penile-vaginal intercourse, and other forms of penetration. Arousal = ejaculation.
- For some women, squirting only results from a specific (and often ‘come hither’-motion-related) form of sexual stimulation. When she is fingered in a certain way at a certain speed, she squirts.
- For some women, squirting can only take place when the object of penetration (finger, penis, dildo) is removed at the moment of ejaculation. “Take it out now!”
- For some women, squirting can only take place when the stimulation is continued up to and past the point of ejaculation. “Don’t stop!”
For Those of You Who Didn’t Drown in the Above Deluge of TMI and Are Still with Me
So maybe someday intricate studies of vast quantities of actual human beings will prove, disprove, or partially prove many of the above suppositions, and we’ll finally nail down the science of squirting like we have the science of the Human Sexual Response cycle or the science of Serotonin Levels in Bisexual Mice.
But maybe some things are better when they’re still a bit mystical.
And you – how do you squirt?
or The Runaway Firehose
They say that when a girl comes over for a drink and suddenly she excuses herself to use the bathroom, that’s when you know you’re in.
Girls pee before sex. Guys should not. Here’s why.
I have always postulated that girls have better sex than guys. They basically control the entire interaction. They usually have the last word on consent. Multiple orgasms. And what guy can just take off his dress or put your hand on his breast and in one fell, instant, unequivocal sweep, drive you completely crazy?
But that’s a theme for another article.
Another reason girls have better sex than guys is what’s going on in their heads while they’re doing it, as opposed to what’s going on in our heads.
Girls can think about whatever they want. Their whole sexual experience can be focused on their pleasure, feeling every inch of their bodies, reveling in their sexuality, inhaling their wildest sexual fantasies.
Us guys have to basically just think about our grandmas.
Girls can orient their entire experience toward the mounting pleasure they feel, relishing it and bathing in it and allowing their climax to slowly build up inside of them. Girls can spend every second of sex trying to make themselves cum. Guys spend every second of sex trying to stop themselves from cumming.
Which is where peeing after sex comes into play. Known (from now on, ahem) as the man’s secret weapon, waiting until after sex to pee can give you that slight extra edge of uncomfortability that can help you to stave off your orgasm until she is completely satisfied.
When he feels himself nearing the point of no return, the savvy post-sex-peer can focus on that pinpoint of pain in his bladder to back himself slowly off the ledge and back down into his safe place. A full bladder combined with a particularly wrinkly grandma can be just the key to help a man weather the climax storm until his woman is completely and thoroughly spent.
At which point, given the okay from her, he can then instantly and with zero effort unleash all the demons of hell, and then quickly rush off to the bathroom.
Where he will experience the secondary benefit of peeing after sex: a socially-acceptable excuse for sitting down while peeing.
Sitting down while peeing is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. No longer having to combine balance, archery, and urination, the beauty of simply collapsing onto the seat and allowing the floodwaters to release themselves like a runaway firehose is a pleasure that almost rivals the dominant feelings of being able to stand up and pee all over stuff.
Because everyone knows that you can’t pee standing up right after sex.
That shit will go everywhere.