joe solves casual sex.

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“They’re not real people until the second date.”
–Woman discussing her Tinder dates. (Sex On, HBO)




The people you have casual sex with are real people.

When I’m having casual sex with someone, it’s important to me that we treat each other with care and respect and basic human kindness.

Just because we’re casually having sex doesn’t mean we should stop treating each other like real people with real lives. So whether your human litterbug approach is due to simple disregard for other people who aren’t you or whether it’s some kind of mental game, it’s toxic, and I can’t have it in my life.

Some people have terrible time management and/or decision-making skills. Sometimes I myself can’t decide whether to put an ‘and’ or an ‘or’ as a qualifier, or both. But these are skills that can be learned. You’re not schedulistically-challenged. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Some people have too much going on. I’m a huge fan of mistakes and imperfect people. In fact, people with pet peeves are my pet peeve. But there’s a difference between a mistake and a pattern, and if a mistake turns into a pattern, it ceases to be a mistake. You’re not chronically overbooked. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Some people think casual sex is a form of disrespecting someone. It goes without saying (which are my favorite kinds of sayings) that this is nothing more than a form of thinly-disguised self-hatred. (Unless you genuinely hate the opposite gender, on which I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you don’t.)

If you catch yourself thinking, I’ve lost my respect for her/him now that I’ve fucked them, the real person here that has lost your respect is yourself. You’re not a victim of your culture and upbringing. You just choose to treat other people like they’re not real people.

Don’t fuck cardboard cutouts. Fuck real people.

 

background music

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lost music

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autophobic

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with a bang

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leaf people

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joe solves superheroes.

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The problem with superhero movies is the lack of absolutely ANY lasting negative consequences.

Die? Come back to life.

Lose your powers? Get way better powers.

Get arrested? Escape.

Lose an arm? Bionic arm.

(Box office bomb? Reboot.)

No wonder there are so many villains. If you lived in a world where there were zero lasting negative consequences to your actions, you’d probably be a villain too.

Audiences are getting sick of it. Maybe that will be a lasting negative consequence they can’t ignore.

anything + time

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undoman

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joe solves music.

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If you ask me what genre of music I like, I’ll tell you I like Music That Is Made For People Who Make Music.

Music That Understands It Is Part Of A Conservation That We’re All Adding To.

That’s why I don’t listen to 80s or 90s music, or The Beatles, or music that tries to sound like oldies. I think we’ve pretty much already covered those topics around 20. Freaking. Years. Ago.

It’s disrespectful to the people who are still having the conservation to butt in with some non sequitur throwback to a theme that’s already been thoroughly discussed and then moved on from. When you keep popping up with that feel-good story from your high school years (that we’ve all already heard a million times), my mind starts to wander.

Don’t be that guy, bro. Don’t be that guy.

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