don’t scare your prostitute
or Sex Worker Etiquette
These tips were taken from interviews with some friends who are also sex workers. Some of the points may overlap slightly, but all of them are worth mentioning.
Don’t Act Dangerous
Her biggest fear is that you’re dangerous. Maybe you aren’t, in fact, you probably aren’t, but she doesn’t know that. Anything you can do to allay that fear will make her work environment, and thus your experience, more pleasant.
Don’t try to impress her with your gun or your strength or your forcefulness. In fact, trying to impress her at all is unnecessary – she’s already a sure thing. You can feel free to be your normal nice self with this girl. Any stunt you pull will probably not impress her and may scare her.
Along those same lines…
Don’t Show up Drunk or High
Especially if you’re new at this, you may need a little something to calm your nerves. But I don’t need to tell you that there’s a big difference between taking the edge off and falling off the edge. I will tell you though, that that difference might be between an experience that is relaxed, easy, and fun for both of you and one that is excruciating and ugly for her and at best forgettable for you.
In the same dangerous vein…
Don’t Change the Plan
There’s a reason you agree ahead of time on where, when, and what. Don’t change things up if you don’t absolutely have to. If you agreed to meet in a hotel, don’t then try to convince her to get in your car and be taken to an abandoned farmhouse even if that is part of your fantasy. It doesn’t matter if you have the best intentions, changing the plan will mean an unsettling period of anguish and uncertainty for her that is just not worth it for either of you.
And speaking of changing things…
Don’t Try Sexual Things You Haven’t Agreed On
There are plenty of fetish sex workers who specialize in all kinds of awesome sexual experiences, but don’t try anything out of the ordinary sexually if you haven’t discussed it with her. She’s just a girl who you are paying for a sexual experience. That doesn’t mean that she will be down with anything you want to try. Don’t try to slip it in her ass or pee on her if you haven’t made it clear ahead of time that that’s what you want to do.
So where should you draw the line, and what is considered out of the ordinary? Talking about sexual dos, don’ts, and specific acts may still be awkward for you, but it probably won’t be for her. Asking her beforehand what her rules are is a good way to get the conversation started.
While we’re on the subject of her rules…
Don’t Do Anything to Put Her Identity in Jeopardy
Although more sex workers come out of the closet every day, for many, due to family, business, or other personal reasons, it is still their number one priority to remain anonymous. Respect that. It’s probably high on your list of priorities as well.
Don’t try to find out her real name, just call her Cinnamon. Don’t try to get her home phone, address, Facebook, or other details of her personal life. If she has boundaries, and she probably does, they are to protect both of you.
And talking about her identity…
Don’t Take Photos
Some sex workers are fine with their clients taking naughty photos and even videos, but to many, many more it is anathema. If having the video to take home with you is a dealbreaker, find a sex worker who is comfortable with that and pay the extra fee. Don’t try to sneak photos of her or bully her into letting you film. Not only will that take the joy out of your session, it may haunt her for years afterward.
Now moving on to an entirely different subject…
Use the Condom Properly
If dangerous men and identity issues are her top two worries, condom problems are a close third. Just as with the other two issues, the fact that you are paying her doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want. The condom is for both of your protection, and it is in your interest as well as hers that you use one and properly.
And a final tip…
Don’t Try to Go over Time
She has a life, just like you do, so let her get back to it.
According to one sex worker, “An ideal date goes like this: you get to the hotel, they pay you, you drink a little, talk a little, it’s so interesting that you don’t even fuck, and after your time is up you leave.” Alright so maybe you do fuck, but you fuck respectfully and sensually.
If you can 1) avoid being dangerous, 2) keep her identity safe, and 3) use a condom properly, you will win Client of the Month awards with sex workers all around the world.