how to fake an orgasm sexylittleideas
or 10 Steps to a Convincing Climactic Performance (for heterosexual women)
(For obvious reasons, men have more difficulty faking their orgasms, and gay women would only be preaching to the choir.)

This guide can be used to fake an orgasm during oral sex, manual stimulation, or even intercourse. As with any sort of acting, don’t exaggerate. Subtle is better, and when in doubt, go light.


Quicken Breath
Start off with slow, deep breaths and gradually quicken the pace of your breathing as your supposed “arousal” is heightened. As the “moment” nears, work up to a crescendo of gasping for air. Make sure he can hear you breathe heavily. It doesn’t hurt to let out a few intermittent moans.


“Involuntary” Muscle Contractions
During an orgasm, almost every muscle group experiences involuntary muscle contractions. These are easy to fake. Arch your back. Curl your toes. Clench your jaw. Flare your nostrils. “Unconsciously” dig your nails into his back. Light spasms in your legs, arms, and stomach can help seal the deal.


Say the Words
Tell him you’re about to cum. No man can resist being told this, and it will go straight to his ego. You can tell he is caught in your act like a fish in a net by the way he moans along with you and quickens his pace and intensity.


Make Less Noise
Believe it or not, during the moment of climax, the majority of women actually go quieter. Although some women do scream when they cum, most tend to make more noise when they want their man to cum and less noise when they are climaxing themselves.

While you can go either way, copulatory vocalizations are a fine line and can easily sound fake. Silence and a faceful of intense concentration, even almost borderline pain, are a sure bet.


Vaginal Contractions
While these are technically involuntary muscle contractions, vaginal contractions at the moment of orgasm can also be faked. Practice doing Kegel exercises to know which muscles to contract and get a good handle on these. Throw in four or five “contractions” right at the appropriate moment.


Sensitivity
Some women do not feel hypersensitive around their clitoral area after climax and some do. In your case, anything you can do to reinforce your “orgasm” in your partner’s mind is a good thing. Tell him not to touch you there or move his hand away and pretend like it’s extremely sensitive while you close your eyes and “enjoy” a few moments of “afterglow.”


Reiterate
Make sure to tell him afterward that he made you cum. Again, men really cannot resist these words, and reiterating afterward the “occurrence” of your “climax” as caused by him will be the coup de grâce that just might get you that Oscar with a capital O.


Keep Coming Back
This is the difficult part. If you have sex with him once and then never come back, he will begin to step back from your amazing performance and start thinking of the big picture. If she never came back, something must have been wrong. It must have been him. He must not have satisfied her completely. If, on the other hand, you do keep coming back, something must be right.


What You Can’t Fake
Vasocongestion, the localized increase in blood pressure resulting in, among other things, the sex flush, swollen nipples, and vaginal lubrication, is impossible to fake. These truly involuntary bodily reactions may give you away if your body refuses to cooperate. Fortunately, there is an easy solution.


How to Fake Vasocongestion
Vasocongestion is, in this case, your body’s real, involuntary response to sexual arousal. Did you catch that? –Arousal, but not necessarily orgasm. As long as you experience some level of arousal, you will lubricate, swell, and flush, and this is really all you need to go along with your breathtaking show.

A small amount of real arousal is essential to every award-winning fake orgasm, so think happy thoughts. The rest you can do on your own. Congratulations, masterfaker, no man alive will be able to tell the difference.