Entitlements: I feel entitled to choose when and if I have sex. Even if I really, really want to fuck you, we’re still not having sex in the back of my car.
I feel entitled to safer sex. Swallowing is sexy, but it also poses a significant risk for STIs. Do not expect me to put myself at risk for your satisfaction.
I feel entitled to make choices about my body and the activities I participate in. I’m kinky and submissive, but that’s not enough information. I still get to have standards and preferences.
I feel entitled to a partner who cares about my experience. I don’t care how casual the sex is, I expect my partner to make some effort to create a good experience for both of us.
Obligations: I am obligated to participate in safer sex. I expect safer sex but it doesn’t happen by itself. I need to make sure I’m consistent with my precautions, up to date on my tests, and that I communicate with my partners.
I am obligated to talk about what I enjoy and what my limits are. If I want something, I need to voice that. Good communication leads to great sex, and I am the person who knows what I like and what will turn me off. The best sex happens when I make myself clear to my partner.
I am obligated to be responsive. That communication I mentioned above is an ongoing thing. I have to continuously provide feedback so my partner has an idea of what I’m experiencing and whether I’m on my way to subspace or wishing he’d hit me just a little bit harder.
I am obligated to try new things (provided they do not cause harm to anyone or violate any of my limits) if they will enhance my partner’s experience. Think of it as being good, giving, and game. I need to make an effort to create a good experience for my partner, even if it involves stretching myself a bit.
I am obligated to be open-minded and create a safe, non-judgmental environment. This is about treating my partner with respect. I’ve never been fully compatible with anyone, but I need to be open-minded and respectful of our areas of divergence. Good sex can’t happen when one partner feels belittled. (Unless they have a humiliation kink, of course.)